Everything was going well

until "I" came along.

That's what David says in the next verse:

Psa 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

See from 23:1-3, the context is that "He leads me, He makes.... " It starts from Him. But in verse 4. it starts with "when I walk.

It's like saying, we'll do okay when He leads but when I do the walking...I blow it all away and now I'm in the valley of the shadow of death. Kinda describe to me how screw up we can be.

But it's okay, God is still with us. His rod and His staff they comfort me, not whack me.

Is our perception of God one that will hit us and punish as we make mistakes?

David, who is the man after God's heart says:

He leads me in path of righteousness and even though I walk through shitty times, I fear no evil. Yes I walk and not He leads... I will still fear no evil because God is with me. His rod and staff they comfort me.

God loves us so much!!

He is not just my Saviour...

He is ALSO my Shepherd.

While I was taking my shower today, feeling happy - as I have been for the last week - I thought about Jesus as my shepherd.

Because He is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. As oppose to He is my saviour I shall not be in want. Shepherd feeds the sheep, He takes care of them. He makes me... He leads me... He restores me. How wonderful.

Psa 23:1 A Psalm of David. The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
Psa 23:2 He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.
Psa 23:3 He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Then I realiased that in the midst of my 'happy' in the last few days... in the midst of being caught up that goodness and mercy is hunting me, I forgot to follow the shepherd as much as I want to. I haven't heard his voice for a couple of days now. Eric has a short term memory - busy playing!!!

Thank you father for your abundance blessing and your grace. How wonderful it is to hear your voice now.

To you my reader, God is blessing you right now in abundance. Whatever it is you have in your heart, go to him and He'll make things right for you.

Help it's hunting me!

Ahhhh.. God is so good. How good you may say?

So good that goodness will follow me.

Psa 23:6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Actually, that's not accurate. Not accurate by far.

Follow in hebrew means: A primitive root; to run after (usually with hostile intent; figuratively (of time) gone by): - chase, put to flight, follow (after, on), hunt, (be under) persecute (-ion, -or), pursue (-r).

Which make the verse go: Goodness and Mercy shall HUNT ME all the days of life!

Where to hide? Where to run?

muahahahahaha Jesus love me.

You give

Thank you Jesus for making today special.

Today, many of the things that I've been waiting for happen! Hallelujah!

I can't help but to think that it's because God is encouraging me after I learn what I did yesterday.

Indeed, I can do nothing except through Christ. So many nights of worrying, of praying and things just started moving - before my holiday.

So while I'm getting excited about all the work that I have to do, I'm operating slightly different this time. Firstly, I'm starting work with rest. Before even working on the projects, I'm going for my holiday. Jewish day also starts in the evening, rest before work. First day of the week is Sunday, sabbath. I guess I didn't see how God take rest seriously until now when I'm typing this. I remember reading that during the old time, violation of Sabbath is punishable by stoning! Alamak! Jialat man!

Secondly, I figure that if it's God that causes things to happen, then the maxim seems quite true: Things were going great until "I" came along :).

So I'm learning to let go, to let God cause it, to let him change me to a different being. It's like being a pencil before and then transform to a pen. A pen just writes differently from a pencil.... just different.

Sounds like a robot? Hardly. I can't explain it. It's like what paul say...His love compels. Like what the covenant says, He write His laws on my heart..... At the same time, I can do everything. It's so FREE-ing. It's the Goodnews mate. The Gospel.

Thirdly I learn that by the same account that He gave repentance...ie. because I can't do it... He also gave us power to heal, that the lame may walk, the blind may see and walk on water and raise the dead.

Hehehehe... the force is storng in this one. :)

Fourthly, and this is taught to me by wifey. Man is bankrupt. We need to receive from God. Receive it abundantly and easily so that we know how GOOD our God is... only then we know how to give. Else we're just giving on our own strength.

Repentance and Forgiveness of Sin is given

I have been in the pensive mood for the last few days (or weeks). I feel a certain sadness.

Among many things, here is one of the reason. You see, I'm climbing Mount KK in about 2 weeks time and I think my hamstring, which I injured, would not heal completely in time for the climb. Not only that. The workout that I've put myself through, to boost my fitness, is just starting to bear fruit. And now I dare not exercise to much for fear of hurting myself again.

Really, I am just starting to enjoy myself... learning that I can get fitter and strong. I have never been a runner in school and now I am quite happy to jog slowly around kiara park for 5km... really slowly :)

So when I pulled my hamstring a week ago, I was quite anxious to get back to my regime so that I can get real fit. Real fit = easy climb = good time in KK. As I prayed over the healing of my hamstring and whether I should go back to exercise, I sensed in my Spirit not to run but to depend on Him for my KK climb.

I guess I should be quite happy about this - dependence. But really I wasn't completely happy about it. I mean this is my holiday. I should have the pleasure of knowing that I can climb mount KK... I mean I want to experience that satisfaction that I did it. I mean this isn't so hard to understand!

I am wise enough to know that if I 'argue' with God who will emerge the winner. But this hamstring thing is really challenging me. Depend on Him... even for my holilday?

So today I read something in Acts that gave me a glimpse of what I might be learning. In Acts 5:29-32 Peter said,"... that he might give repentence and forgiveness of sins..... "

It kinda shocked me because repentence is also given. It's given meh?

Then I realiase that what Jesus said is true. (duh?!). We can really do no-thing except through him, even repentence. (repentence means change our minds) We can't even change our mind/conviction on our own. This stupid simple 'little' thing called REPENTANCE also we have to depend on Him... sian! sian!

ooi.. but it's God's word. and it's true. and its VERY free-ing. now that I think about it.

He cause the repentance, I just chill out in Him.

So this KK trip I also must depend on him. At first I want to feel that I can achieve something and that I'm 'powerful' enough to control my life (through exercising, planning...etc not that that isn't good, just this is for me, for this season, for this moment.. I'm special you see :) )

Now I'm zero. God you be My Hero la. I just pray that you show up, don't make my hamstring pain again coz last week very siong. Also, let me have fun with my wife and friends. Take care of my business, bless me abundantly.... Yes God, I know I very chiong hei, you said it in scripture already, again and again. But just thought I tell you anyways.

Thank you Jesus for everything.

Inlaws or Outlaws

She drives me nuts sometimes, other times she makes me coffee.

She drives me up the wall, and most time- through the wall, other times she washes my laundry.

She's like a BIG little girl at home, giving excuses for a lot a lot of things.

I'm like a small BIG man bugging, irritating, confronting, challenging her many many times a day.

I can't change her but I can change my thoughts (coincidentally, that's the meaning of repent) so help me God.

How to get a free holiday.

Really, I no blaff you one.

Takes about 3 1/2 hours of work only.

1. Go listen to a time share sales pitch
- Just give your phone number when you stay in hotel, some cheesy promotion... etc etc somehow these ppl will soon find out who you are, your name, your gender and your age. They will then call you.

This part is called telemarketing on their part, to me is called: stop wasting my time, what's the deal here?

2. As a reward to listening their pitch they'll give you a hotel stay at XXX location for one night.
- Not bad. They say the sales pitch will only take 60mins. I don't think so. The REAL sales pitch is when they press you after the pitch after the 60mins. Asking you questions like: What's stopping you? Is money the issue, if yes, then how much can you afford....helping you to see past your 'issues' to get to a 'YES'. So Id say the REAL sales pitch time is 120mins.

Their part now is to bite and don't let go. I call my part here: act blur think smart.

3. As a reward to your strong willed NO and super thick skin :) You now have a free 1 night stay. Don't complain if the room is lousy, service is non-existent.. usually it's not. But if it is... it's free okay!

Why 3 1/2 hours? KL traffic and parking. 1 1/2 hours to get to their office and park and back. 2 hours to listen to pitch :)

This is when u say yay! you got a free stay... now does anyone have any idea how to get free transport to the hotel?

Womanese

Recently I learn that while ALL of us, men, speak English, women speak womanese. hahaha. Yup, they speak womanese. I've been married for 7 months and dated the same woman for 5 years prior to that and I'm just starting to learn this new, bizarre language called womanese.

I think I'm just starting to scratch the surface. Maybe.

Womanese is 'deceiving'. It sounds just like English but its undercurrent, its meaning is completely different. For example when my wife ask me if I love her. I answer: I love you.

3 simple words can mean a whole lot things.

She then ask again, do you love me? I say yes I do love you, very much.

How much?

Obviously, my english teacher didn't teach me well. I don't know the words "I love you" can be used to express the dept of love. I love you is I love you la...

Also, most guys probably don't know this. I love you also has a time factor in it.

In Womanese, I love you, last about 5 secs. That's why sometimes my wife can ask me: Do you love me? ...I love you... Do you love me?.... I love you.... Do you REALLY love me?.......

I think most of my dad's generation seldom tell their woman that they love them. Of course, they said that during the Wedding. "Oooi woman, I tell you already what.. how many time you want me to repeat..... I love you la"

It's not enough to tell them that you love them once a week... coz that was LAST week. Not once a day, coz that was YESTERDAY! you need to tell them constantly. It last for 5 secs. The 'weirdest' part is that this is not because they have short term memory. They don't.. never forget the last time you said "I love you".

Dear... do you love me? You haven't said that you love me for a long time......
huh? long time?..
yeah.... since this morning....

5 seconds, after which the power of "I love you" simply fizzles. no more. void. You have start again.

But I think I'm learning. It's like watering the most beautiful flower the more you say "I love you" the more pretty the flower becomes.

Honey I love you!!!!

TIME is the issue here..

Recently I found out that a good friend of my mine was chosen to play for a music hero of mine.

On one hand I was really happy for him as we played together on several gigs before and I was fully aware that he is a good guitarist... he deserves it! Well done!

On the other, I was dissapointed and went to sulk-mode. I needed to. I needed to know why. What have I done badly? What could I have done better?

So I seek answers... and I've gotten some. Not all things in life are pleasant :) but in this case, they are certainly necessary.

The comments on my playing in a nutshell is that I don't play the right thing at the right time. Sometimes I go out of timing and make things 'messy'....

While that is a problem I can deal with on its own, but as I dig deeper myself, I realised that this issue permeates across my life:-

- to say the right things and do the right stuff with the right people at the right time!

(that's saying, doing, people and time)

worst, I don't do it! or want to do it. I think innately I don't even try! Arrgghhh... It's shameful to admit this. I would love to think that I get the saying and doing part right more than 50% of the time but even then, I think I get the people and timing part wrong most of the time.

At the moment, I don't know the consequence of my actions (or inactions). On major aspect I feel is the lost of 'gravitas' or 'leadership'. I'm not sure...

I'm praying and learning now... from zero. Will update.

Pyromaniac? Sadist?... I love animals what!

Coolcat asked me to comment on this entry. and I will :)

I don't think I'm a pyro-phobic. I'm not a pyromaniac too but I do enjoy burning things up occasionally.

I have tried to burn my hair when I was younger. Nothing too scary. It burns fast. then dies.

I haven't burn things for a long time until last month when I found snails in my aquarium - EATING my PLANTS!

How can man?! My lovely plants!

So I bought pufferfish that would eat them. And since they were about to die anyway I thought to have some fun with them. I caught one of the snails and put it on a piece of paper and lit it up. 1 min later, the fire engulf the snail and then.. **** blooop ****. A faint explosion signifying the end of miserable snail's life. muahahahaha! The snail's shell exploded into a thousand fragments. It was fun I guess, but too short lived...

If you have garden snails, you can put salt on the snail and see it melt (but this won't work on aquarium snails) which is certainly more fun to watch as it last like 30mins.... I'm sick I know.

Speaking of which, ants and mosquitos last a LONG time without their limbs....

Engine Oil

Got reminded today... prayer is my engine oil

Music & Kings

I went to Jakarta last week on a business trip.

Met this funny-wise man. We are both passionate about our music and that made for much conversation topics. Knowing my busy schedules he told me not to leave my music behind and added:

David became musician 1st then king... not the other way around... remember that!

....
....

now who am I to argue with that?!

Maggie Mee

Last night I was pooped out from my days work.

So we went to watch ice age 2. It was okay-la....

But what was even better when Liping made Asam Laksa Maggie for me. She makes the best maggie! I'm very biased. :)

some updates:

Hey there,

I'm doing well. Thanks for asking! How are things with you? Anything new? What are you busy with these days and what are you looking forward to?

Suddenly, I feel like typing.. so here goes! lol

Besides being busy with wedding plans and the biz, there is little time for music practice. I feel that I've been deproving for the past few months after the busy period of December. All those motor skills gone!

I've got a gig this weekend for CCM with Liang and Jac and I find myself practicing with my old friend- the metronome. Shucks. I'm planning to keep it simple and tight. But I hope I practice on a more regular basis, I feel very discourage when I don't improve... or maybe playing the same lines over and over and over again bores the heck of of me, or maybe I feel that stagnation of skills isn't worshiping Him (in eph, it says play with all your skills!). One thing still stays the same, playing music make me happy. It's weird. I'm weird.

In this year, I hope I'll be able to train up my ears a bit more. Learn more transcription skills. I'm a hopeless case in that! Oh btw, I've been experimenting on the minor harmonic scale. Sounds awesome.. hehehe.. if only I can get my fingers to move now...

On other stuff, it's pretty exciting. I have no experience in getting married so.... :P You dating anyone? You're not young anymore too!

On work, super stressful. But I love it... and love is not a 'feeling' word, it's an action word! ahahaha.. I'm getting so much white hair these days. Recently, I'm in the mission to tell those I see who don't enjoy their work to realised that we spent the majority of our waking hours in work. "Church" happens more in our office more than in 'ministry'.

As for cars.... arrggh I was eying the Honda City! hahaha sleek, not too expensive rm70k+ and very good on fuel consumption. So what do I do? I try to make some money and pray! But God seems to be saying no! arrgh. I'll keep praying. For now, it's the kancil and the bug. Have you got your Satria yet?

Okay you take care now.

Eric

Problems organising camps?

Hi there,

Organising a camp can sometimes be tough. Small meager budgets, demanding campers, high expectations for food and 'quality' tshirts. Satisfying all needs is as much a pain as the organising itself!!

Allow Johnny to the rescue- vely fierceZZZ, Johnny do Bestz!

You can now zhng your camp

http://www.mrbrown.com/blog/2006/03/zhng_my_camp.html

We're gathered here today to remember...

... GIGS (of emails... 3 yrs worth)

bytes to bytes
gigs to gigs
we hereby say our farewell to the many gigs that has been lost in this terrible tragedy today
the words in the gigs has shown me that tho they are no more,
their meanings are still here to stay
their purpose we remember.

I will certainly miss you, Gigs of Email (son of Thunderbird)

***title here***

Just watched a Scott Henderson instructional video and then another - Tommy Emanualle.

Both monster players makes me wanna quit playing right now!

On the same time, both are simply inspiring... for me to just play and worship.

For music is a gift to worship without words.

How weird am I?

You Are 40% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

Your Observation Skills Get A B-

Your senses are pretty sharp (okay, most of the time) And it takes something big to distract you!

How Observant Are You?

Work break musings....

Thanks guys for commenting on the last entry.

1/12 of 2006 is almost over! Wow that's fast! I hardly feel time 'moved' and 1 month's over. It's a good reminder that we need to use time wisely- doing things that will give us the best returns.
I think using time is like investments. What's the ROI? What's the return? Short term or long term? What can we do that no one else around us can do better? Why the heck am I not thinking more in terms of this lines.

When I start to think in terms of this, I realised my life is much simpler. There's just that few things I need to do and it helps me prioritise. Makes my life simpler. For those things I need to do, I'd gotta be responsible for them.

Problems come when I stop to think. I do things for the sake of doing it. Sounds simple? Yet so difficult. After doing some things for like the 100th times, I forget the 'why'. I go on an auto-cruise mode - without much goal or objective - simply because I have to.

Being in auto-cruise mode is easy. I just go with the system. It 'feels' that my life is safe and secure -- which is plain stupidity! Because I was merely wasting my time doing things for the sake of doing it and adding no value to me and to the ppl around me. (since I'm hitting 30 soon... time has a new meaning)

Having asked myself many brutally honest questions, Im glad I've made some changes in my life this year already. The changes are not easy and its impact to be measured at the end of the year.




*****
What's a good/great Christian?
Thanks ppl for your comments! They are awesome. While I also dunno the answer....

but a christian is firstly a follower of Christ- a lover, a friend, a servant...etc In the whole equation, relationship is key. What's a good christian to me? one that has good relationship with God. What's a great Christian? One that has a great relationship with God. Tada! :))
*****

In the early part of the year I was also thinking: if I'm not doing any 'churchy' stuff, what do i do that defines me as a Christian? :)


*****

Early this week a very close friend gave me a line which stuck to me:

The spirit of excellence has nothing to do with being perfect.

Good to Great

I have been pondering what is a good christian?

We go to church, pray, do our quiet time. We lend a helpling hand. We study the word of God. I guess we are.

What will make us great christian? or better written as great followers of christ?

Share your views.

***
Martha's a good follower but, paraphrasing our Lord, "Dont' stop Mary, she has chosen the better..."
***